November 17, 2022
“My grandparents served in WWII and Vietnam, and my dad served as a Marine. I didn’t even tell my parents before I joined the Air Force. I just knew I wanted to travel and learn a skill before figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. I joined the Air Force at 20 years old in and started as a photographer before eventually working my way up to a combat photo journalist. It took me a long time to get to combat camera because it varies on how and when people get accepted through the selection process. Not everyone wants to join combat camera either because it requires a lot of deploying, dangerous situations, etc. but I was drawn to that. Once I completed the selection process, I started deploying and our operations tempo was really high at the time. We would go out for six months and then be back home for six months. I was sent on a few response type deployments like Hiroshima for the nuclear spill, as well as the earthquake in Haiti. I was always busy. In 2008, I went out with ground units in Afghanistan and Iraq, but I’m not sure if I can really go into too much detail. Every deployment I’ve ever been on – whether it was search and rescue, small contingency, or combat and direct strike missions – I walked away with a different perspective. One of the Navy SEALs really summed up war the best when he said, “I’m looking at my enemy and he’s looking at me and neither of us think we’re wrong.” If I grew up the way they grew up, I might think or act differently and I have a deep and healthy respect for that. There’s things I’ve done that I’m not extremely proud of that I can’t take back, but I have to try to learn and get better from it.
The hard part about combat camera is I felt like I had to relive the war multiple times. Not only while I was there, but I also had to develop the film. Then there were times they wanted explanations or duplicate photos, and it got to the point where I didn’t want to see or talk about it anymore. As a photographer, I remember almost every photo I’ve ever taken. I’ll remember being in that place and how I felt at the time. I remember fear and anger. Those things don’t go away just because you’re no longer in that position. There are still things I wish I had never seen or smelled. You learn to coexist with it. I went on to serve 20 years and retired in 2014. I missed my friends and the structure, but it was time to give my life back to my family. I have an amazing support system and my wife is a veteran so she understood the lifestyle. My parents live five minutes from me and my in-laws are ten minutes away, so I had this sense of normalcy that helped me to adjust as well. The military didn’t define me so I was able to turn some things off. I had a lot of support with that. I tried getting treatment, but I had such a great support system at home that I didn’t stay long in treatment. 
There’s a couple of guys from my combat camera unit that I stay in touch with. I talk to them with a little bit more understanding and we help each other kind of coexist with these challenges. I started a personal training business while also helping my wife as a secondary photographer for her business. I look back and realize how lucky I am to have made lifelong friends from the military. I wouldn’t have my wife and kids either so I feel really lucky to have had that experience.”
